From judgment to mindful listening

Adolescence and young adulthood are periods in which one feels continuously evaluated: just turning on the phone can change your mood. Research from UCLA shows that when teenagers see many “likes” on their photos, the same reward circuit in the brain is activated as with chocolate or gambling, responding while also reinforcing the need for immediate approval. Those who spend many minutes scrolling through social media risk feeling “behind” compared to others. Another recent study shows that constant comparison with those who seem “better” lowers self-esteemThe term self-esteem literally refers to the evaluation of o... More and undermines mental well-being.

Comparison and the sense of threat

Adolescence and young adulthood are times when we continuously evaluate ourselves: even a single glance can change our day. With hyperconnection, comparison becomes constant: feeds, stories, and “likes” make us believe we have a real measuring stick against others.

All this leads to true dysfunctional copingCoping is the ability to face and manage stress, challenges,... More strategies: masks, avoidance, isolation, loneliness, or acting against our values. Feeling observed or judged increases stressWhat is stress? From a clinical perspective, stress is a phy... More and a sense of threat in interpersonal relationships.

Countering judgment and defensive automaticity

When judgment takes over, choice turns into an automatic reaction. A person who feels judged may struggle to recognize the different possible responses: the mind tends to react defensively, accelerating “no” or “always like this,” reducing the space for response and self-awarenessIl termine autoconsapevolezza si riferisce primariamente all... More in decision-making.

When someone is labeled, on the other hand, curiosity decreases, because the person in front of us has already been categorized. And inside us, equally defensive patterns are unconsciously activated: such as “running away,” “defending,” or “disconnecting.”

Nominalization and awareness

Trying to stop judging is a small daily exercise. When you notice judgment “knocking”, you can pause for a moment and ask yourself: “Is this reaction based on facts or an impulse?” Nominalization, that is, listening to what you feel and giving it a name, even just mentally (for example: “I am judging”), immediately restores some control over the situation, creating space to choose consciously.

Fondazione Patrizio Paoletti disseminates psychoeducational protocols to train awareness, such as Prefigurare il Futuro, a free project for Italian schools, dedicated to students, teachers, and families. The training path includes videos, workshops, and materials to strengthen resilienceWhat is meant by resilience? According to the American Psych... More, self-regulation, and emotional intelligenceThe first definition of Emotional Intelligence as such was p... More. It is a real gym where reaction gives way to choice.

Judgment can sometimes seem obvious, almost taken for granted. Listening to what is inside is instead a much deeper, more complex process, but one that takes you further. Emotional education and introspection allow the creation of authentic bonds with others and feeling better with our truest self.

Stelian Cruceanu is a volunteer at Fondazione Patrizio Paoletti. He writes about mental well-being, listening, and project planning, with a practical perspective: movement, meditationThere are many ways to define meditation, but perhaps the si... More, journaling, and daily habits to reduce stress and judgment. Passionate about accessible education for young people, he connects personal experiences with scientific references to transform complex concepts into simple actions, aiming to contribute to building quality connections, sustainable routines, and the development of individual potential.