The Pain of Loneliness

Social interaction is essential for ensuring satisfaction, joy, and even proper brain functioning. On the other hand, the deprivation of human connections is highly detrimental to the entire body and mind. Loneliness and social isolation put our overall health at risk and cause real suffering for humans, processed by the brain in a manner similar to physical pain.

What is loneliness?

When we experience loneliness, we feel a lack of fulfillment in the natural need for human connection, which can turn into a heavy distress that is hard to bear. Humans are social beings, and it is through relationships with others that they can fully express their potential and talents.

Reflecting on loneliness, it is important to note that being objectively alone does not necessarily mean feeling lonely or suffering from it. This distinction is clearly highlighted in the English language, which has two terms for loneliness: loneliness, describing the feeling of being alone, isolated, and in a somehow distressing solitude, and solitude, which refers to the neutral state of being alone, potentially perceived positively.

Indeed, time spent alone, when chosen intentionally, can be experienced as pleasurable and bring significant benefits to psychological well-being, enhancing satisfaction, self-awareness, and even the quality of human relationships when one chooses to reconnect.

The pain of loneliness, which changes the brain

However, loneliness is often not a voluntary choice or a consciously sought moment for inner reflection or a rejuvenating break. When imposed or unwanted, loneliness becomes real suffering because our brain processes the pain of loneliness similarly to physical pain.

Studies by Naomi Eisenberger at the University of California, Los Angeles, have shown that during enforced social isolation, the same brain areas activated by physical pain are engaged. Researchers suggest that this loneliness-pain connection stems from the attachment system, which evolved linked to the pain system to signal isolation as a strong danger. This link is so ingrained that, in our brain, the fibers responding to physical pain overlap with those of emotional pain, indicating that we should address emotional suffering as seriously as physical pain.

The experience of loneliness changes our brain and cognitive functioning. The study Affective Neuroscience of Loneliness explains that when we suffer from loneliness, inflammation increases, emotional regulation and social threat perception are altered, but neural changes are reversible, highlighting the possibility to reverse the course of loneliness.

An epidemic of loneliness

In the recent global health survey by the Patrizio Paoletti Foundation, 14% of respondents reported feeling often or always isolated in the past month. This aligns with the EU Loneliness Survey, where 13% of European citizens reported feeling lonely most or all of the time in the past month, and 35% felt lonely at least some of the time.

Loneliness and social isolation negatively impact overall health, with serious consequences for physical well-being and mental health. Among the harmful effects on overall health, the American Psychological Association notes:

• increased depression and anxiety
• impaired executive functions
• accelerated cognitive decline
• worsened cardiovascular health
• weakened immune system
• poor sleep quality

Loneliness and old age

The incidence of loneliness is particularly concerning with advancing age because it increases the risk of mortality and dementia. A recent study, published in Aging and Mental Health and conducted in 29 countries on over 64,000 people aged 50 to 90, explored loneliness in middle and late adulthood.

The research identified two main risk factors for developing loneliness in this age group: not being engaged in work or productive activities and not being married (e.g., single, separated, or widowed). This highlights the crucial role of social interactions even in older age. The Patrizio Paoletti Foundation dedicates a video lesson to explore the protective value of relationships in old age and how to protect the brain health of older adults through healthy social engagement.

Loneliness compared to other risk factors

The American Psychological Association emphasizes that loneliness and social isolation increase the risk of premature death, with scientific studies suggesting they are twice as harmful as obesity. Similarly, the 2023 document Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation by the U.S. Surgeon General notes that loneliness is even more harmful than physical inactivity, with a mortality impact comparable to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Vivek H. Murthy, former Surgeon General, called for immediate awareness and action:

Each of us can start now, in our own lives, by strengthening our connections and social relationships.

Investing in protective factors and sociality

Counteracting loneliness as a significant risk factor for overall health is a public health priority, recognized by community efforts such as the establishment of a Ministry for Loneliness in the UK and Japan, and the WHO commission to promote social connection.

The EU document Risk factors for loneliness highlights some protective factors to counteract loneliness, such as:

• education
• engagement in work or productive activities
• stable socio-economic status
• protective psychological traits and individual emotional resources, such as good self-esteem and a sense of self-efficacy

Dors, the documentation center for health promotion of the Piedmont Region, lists practical strategies to counteract loneliness and invest in sociality throughout life, such as:

• expanding shared activities, like gardening, book clubs, sports, art, or social events
• enhancing shared housing and meals
• digital interventions using technological support
• accessible transport and services
• individual counseling and psychological support paths

The Patrizio Paoletti Foundation’s proposal: together for shared well-being

The Patrizio Paoletti Foundation helps counter loneliness and social isolation, primarily by investing in education—a protective factor identified by the European Union and a key means of change—and by raising awareness through free content on its scientific dissemination and self-education portal.

Additionally, it promotes concrete opportunities for social solidarity, such as the recent Gallicano Infiorata in Lazio, the non-competitive relay Run Rome The Marathon, and the campaign on beaches and cities of the Carovana del Cuore. These activities combine the joy and protective effect of sociality with the benefits of solidarity and volunteering, which scientific studies show improve happiness, well-being, and even longevity.

Volunteering together or with family is a global health recipe for our own and shared well-being, a win-win strategy that promotes health and contributes to building a society based on fairness, awareness, and a commitment that generates joy and nurtures emotional, cognitive, and relational skills, toward a better version of ourselves.