Affection

What is affect according to science?

Affect represents one of the deepest dimensions of human experience, a territory where biology, psychology, and culture intertwine in complex ways. When we talk about affect, we refer to that particular form of emotional bond that connects us to others, characterized by feelings of closeness, warmth, and mutual care.

From a scientific perspective, affect is not a fleeting emotion, but a neurobiological system with deep evolutionary roots. NeuroscienceThe human brain is one of the most complex and fascinating s... More shows that when we feel affect, specific circuits in the brain are activated involving the amygdala"The amygdala is a gray matter structure named after its cha... More, nucleus accumbens, and prefrontal cortexThe prefrontal cortex plays a fundamental role in numerous p... More, with the release of oxytocinOxytocin is a hormone produced in the brain, specifically in... More, dopamineA neurotransmitter found in the brain and central nervous sy... More, and endorphinsEndorphins are a group of endogenous peptides, meaning they ... More. These mechanisms have long-term effects on physical and mental healthWhat is meant by mental health? According to the World Healt... More. Affect is manifested through facial expressions, gestures of closeness, kind words, and acts of care. But above all, it constitutes a fundamental human need, as important as food or rest, accompanying us from birth to the end of life.

Why is our brain programmed to give and receive affect?

The ability to express affect represents the result of millions of years of evolution. Our ancestors developed sophisticated neurobiological systems to manage social bonds because individuals capable of forming stable affective relationships had higher chances of survival. The human brain evolved as a “social brain”, optimized to live in cooperative groups. Neuroscientific research has identified the main components of this system:

• The hypothalamus

It regulates the production of oxytocin, the hormone that facilitates prosocial behaviors and reduces anxietyAnxiety is an emotional response characterized by feelings o... More during affectionate interactions. This brain structure functions as a neurochemical command center and orchestrates the release of substances that make us feel good when we are close to loved ones. Studies show that high levels of oxytocin increase interpersonal trust and the ability to read others’ emotions.

• The limbic systemThe limbic system is a key region of the brain, responsible ... More

Processes the emotional components of affect, attributing affective meaning to our relational experiences. The amygdala constantly evaluates the emotional safety of interactions, influencing whether we open up or withdraw from others.

• The prefrontal cortex

Consciously modulates affective expressions and allows us to understand others’ emotional states. This evolved area distinguishes us from other primates, allowing us to plan affectionate gestures and regulate emotional reactions according to the social context.

These circuits are activated from the very first moments of life: when a newborn is hugged, a cascade of neurochemical events is triggered in the brain, calming the baby and contributing to the development of the nervous system.

What are the different faces of affect in human relationships?

Affect manifests in different forms depending on the type of relationship and social context. Psychological research has identified various types, each with specific characteristics:

• Parental affect

It constitutes the most universal form of affective bond. It is characterized by a fundamental asymmetry: the parent provides care and emotional support to the child. This form activates neural circuits that increase motivationMotivation: a scientific perspective Motivation is a fundame... More to care for offspring. Mothers and fathers who look at photos of their children show intense activation of the dopaminergic reward systemWith reward system, also called the gratification system, we... More, creating a “positive dependency” that motivates caregiving behaviors even when demanding.

• Romantic affect

Combines sexual attraction with deep emotional attachment. The early stages of falling in love are characterized by intense dopaminergic activation, producing euphoria and focus on the partner. Over time, a calmer and more enduring form emerges, mediated by oxytocin and endogenous opioids, creating security and well-being. This transition reflects the shift from passion to intimacy.

• FriendshipEven though rudimentary forms of friendship are present in v... More affect

Represents a bond characterized by reciprocity and emotional support without sexual components. Deep friendships activate the same neural circuits as family relationships. Epidemiological research shows that people with strong friendships have a reduced risk of depressionDepression is a disorder characterized by persistent sadness... More, cardiovascular disease, and dementiaDementia is a medical condition characterized by the progres... More. Friendship affect satisfies social belonging needs, creating a “chosen family.”

How does affect shape our personality from childhood?

Psychological development is profoundly influenced by affect received in the early years of life. John Bowlby’s attachment theory revolutionized the understanding of how early bonds shape adult personality. Children develop “internal working models” based on early experiences: if they receive affectionate and consistent responses, they develop secure attachment with trust in others and good emotional regulation.

Neglectful experiences, on the other hand, lead to insecure attachment styles, manifesting as relational anxiety or avoidance of intimacy. Longitudinal studies show that children with secure attachment become adults with better relational skills and greater resilienceWhat is meant by resilience? According to the American Psych... More. Epigenetic research demonstrates that early affective experiences modify the expression of genes involved in stressWhat is stress? From a clinical perspective, stress is a phy... More response. Children deprived of affective care show alterations in the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis, with lifelong health consequences. Studies on orphanage children show that, even after adoption into loving families, many continued to show emotional difficulties, highlighting the consequences of early affective deprivation.

Is affect the same across all cultures or are there significant differences?

The neurobiological mechanisms of affect are universal, but the modes of expression vary considerably across cultures. The variations reflect different conceptions of identity and social relationships:

• In Western individualistic cultures, affect is expressed directly and explicitly. Parents frequently say “I love you” to children, couples exchange verbal declarations, and emotional expression is valued as a sign of authenticity. The ability to verbalize feelings is considered a fundamental relational skill. In the United States, it is common for parents and adult children to say “I love you” at the end of every phone call.
• In Asian and Middle Eastern collectivist cultures, affect is communicated indirectly. Love is manifested through practical acts of care and sharing. In Japan, the concept of “amae” describes affect based on mutual dependence and implicit understanding: affect is expressed through the ability to sense others’ needs without words. A Japanese mother rarely says “I love you,” but preparing her child’s lunch every day with care is considered a deeply affectionate gesture.

Norms regarding physical contact vary greatly. In Mediterranean and Latin American cultures, hugs and kisses are common greetings even among acquaintances. In Italy or Brazil, physical contact is part of daily communication. In Finland or Japan, contact is reserved for intimate relationships, and approaching too closely may seem intrusive. Despite these differences, cross-cultural studies show that the need for affective connection is universal: in all cultures, individuals with strong affective relationships report greater happinessHappiness represents an emotional state characterized by pos... More.

Can we learn to cultivate affect and improve our relational skills?

Affective capacities can be developed throughout life. Neural plasticity offers opportunities for change even for those with difficult early experiences. Research has identified effective strategies: compassion-focused meditationThere are many ways to define meditation, but perhaps the si... More increases brain activity associated with empathyEmpathy is a fundamental skill that allows us to connect wit... More. Studies show that eight weeks of this type of meditation modify insula activation during observation of others’ suffering.

Emotionally focused couples therapy helps partners recognize and express affective needs, transforming the quality of the relationship. Even simple interventions make a difference: deliberately increasing daily affectionate gestures creates a virtuous cycle. An experiment on couples who increased hugs showed, after four weeks, greater relational satisfaction and lower cortisolThe adrenal glands, small pyramid-shaped glands above the ki... More levels.

For those who have experienced relational trauma, psychotherapy provides space to reprocess affective wounds, gradually building trust capacities. Cultivating affect means both giving and learningIl termine apprendimento - con i sinonimi imparare, assimila... More to receive: many people find it difficult to accept others’ affect, perceiving it as vulnerability.